Praise Part 3: Praising why?

This last post on the subject of praise concerns not just the effects of praise, but more deeply our own motivations for praising.
I am referencing two articles here, both by Alfie Kohn, although he is far from alone in his views. The first is Five Reasons to Stop Saying "Good Job!", written in 2001, and the second is Criticizing (Common Criticisms of) Praise, from earlier this year. Both articles are brief and to the point, and though it probably would go without saying, I recommend them both in full.
Kohn's basic point is that praise is often offered with the goal of manipulating behavior and carries with it a value judgement that places the praiser above the one being praised. Also, it is a signal of conditional rather than unconditional acceptance.
This has some profound implications. It replaces intrinsic rewards, such as the joy of solving a problem, or sharing, or helping someone else, with the reward of getting praise from another person. This is thought to be why praising someone for doing something often causes a loss of interest in the activity being praised. Again, the articles are worth reading and flesh out all of these points as well as others.
I would, however, like to discuss what alternatives there are to manipulative praise. Kohn's starting point is to begin with unconditional love and support, and then trying to work with the child, rather than controlling them. Again, see Kohn's articles or books for a more thorough discussion of his ideas (book titles listed below).From the perspective of a more limited discussion of communication in the context of teaching, here are a few specifics:

• When a student gets something right that they have been struggling with, you may not need to say anything. They will often know what they have done and you can just share their joy in the accomplishment. 
• You can describe what they have done while leaving out the value judgement. Just stay with the facts: "the bowing was correct and you didn't have to stop!" or "your tone was clear and the notes were in tune!" 
• You can also ask questions that direct the student to reflect on their process, such as "what did you do differently that time?" or "what were you focused on as you played?" or "did you like anything about your tone just now?" 

We would like to encourage the student's sense of ownership over their playing, progress, and even identity. The key is to monitor our own motivations. If we are trying to manipulate, we may find our efforts backfiring. If we are genuinely celebrating with the student (without judgement) and keeping the focus on the activity, we'll be more likely to help the student enjoy the satisfaction of well-earned progress and support their long-term relationship with music and the instrument.